What It Took For Me To Admit I Wanted More

Finally, it has happened. I have had something bubbling up inside of me for years now. Yes, years, and I finally said it out loud today: "This is NOT the life I want!" Yup, that’s right. I believe now that I have been terrified to admit this, terrified to admit that the very life I created is NOT completely what I want. Yes, there are aspects, but I am not done, and I will be damned if I leave this lifetime without creating and experiencing myself and my life fully and exactly as I most deeply desire it.

I have been spending the better part of my life watching other people's stories and wishing it was me. Well, no more! There is no reason I cannot have the life I want. I am the only one stopping me from experiencing it. 

I can feel it now, and it is palpable. So, while I have been pissed off at everyone asking what’s your 2019 goal and what you want to create, I finally realized my disgruntlement has come from my lack of acknowledgment of one thing. I. WANT. MORE!

I can feel this declaration is what has been wanting to explode from me for a very long time. When a close friend asked me what my next steps were to create this, I immediately went into an overwhelmed state. Then I quickly transitioned out of thinking about the do’s I needed to tackle to get into the feeling of the desire itself and replied, “I am simply going to enjoy this feeling of knowing and follow it where it wants to take me." I took an expansive breath, exhaling complete freedom and spaciousness.

I won’t leave this life without living it exactly how I want. 

Are you familiar with this experience? Are you living the life you want? Why not if you aren’t? If so, what did it take to make it happen?