New Year’s Day 220ft Up

I woke up on New Year's Day wondering what I would do with my first day of the new year. I had no plans, so I procrastinated getting out of bed and stayed cozy under my covers. During a morning scroll online, I came across a Facebook post by journalist Frank Somerville about Bridgewatch Angels, a community organization of volunteers who come together on the Golden Gate Bridge to engage in suicide prevention throughout the year.

As I read about their work supporting distressed and vulnerable souls on some of the hardest days of the year, I was moved to tears. I can’t tell you exactly why I cried; perhaps it reminded me of my teenage years, when I struggled with my own thoughts around self-worth and loneliness that seemed so insurmountable at the time that ending my life actually felt like it would bring relief. Maybe it was the heartache of knowing how deeply other people suffer every day to the point of wanting to end their lives, or maybe it was seeing there are people out there who have the capacity to care so deeply that moved me that morning. I imagine it was a combination of all three that encouraged me to sign up that New Year's Day. If I could be there for another person in any way, I would just show up.

I certainly had my reservations. I wondered if I was up for what could potentially be a very intense experience. I thought, “Who am I to do this for someone I don’t know?" “I have ZERO mental health training!” “Is this even safe?” Then I paused and asked, “What type of year do I want to have?” and “Who do I want to be?” That was all it took. So I got in my car and went.

Around 30 amazing people showed up to be a part of the second shift on the bridge that day. I recall feeling surrounded by incredibly compassionate individuals, each with their own reasons for coming. We gathered at the visitor center just near the bridge, and Mia Munayer, the creator of Bridgewatch Angels and a police officer with crisis intervention training, along with Mika Celli, a mental health specialist and one of the leaders, walked us through what to expect, safety procedures, and how to engage. My heart was heavy at the realization of why we were there. There was a possibility that someone would go there that day to end their life. We received instructions on what to look for and say, ranging from a polite hello to a direct "Do you want to kill yourself?" The latter is used in the most heightened situations and as a tactic to bring the person into the present moment. As they spoke, I was struck by what we were actually doing. It was something so simple, yet so rarely done anymore; we were letting people know.

“I see you.” “I see your worth.” 

There is nothing more powerful and simple. I see it every day in my own work as a photographer. All we had to do was say Happy New Year, make a connection, and gauge the responses. If the person seemed withdrawn or despondent, we were to try to gently engage them further. Most people went from a solemn look to a bright, cheery smile as they returned the greeting. It was incredible to see how something so small could make such a huge impact and ultimately lead to helping save a person's life. In fact, on New Year's Eve, they prevented two people from jumping.

I left my time with Bridgewatch Angels Mika and Mia, my Bridgewatch partner Satish, and all the angel volunteers with gratitude for these loving and caring souls and compassion for those who struggle every day with pain and loneliness. If there is nothing else I do each day, I realize I can at the very least be present and kind to those around me. Here is to a more compassionate and engaged 2016.

The New Year's Day Bridgewatch Angels